Though my last message focused on grief, I feel compelled to continue to talk about this deep and pervasive subject. I have had losses in the past–big losses. When I decided to leave my first marriage, due to circumstances beyond my control, that was a huge loss. I grieved for several years. It was a daunting process of rediscovering who I was; I felt depleted on so many levels. It took years to recover from the damage to my emotional, physical and spiritual states.

The loss of my father was quite different. He had been sick, and on some level I anticipated losing him, despite my denial at the time. For me, a father’s love is different from a mother’s love. Both are very special, of course, but very different.

The loss of my mother has been difficult, to say the least. Although I felt that I was in a pretty healthy place at the time, the grieving, the letting go, continues to be hard. I am still going through her things and deciding what I want to keep. Some days I don’t want much, and other days I don’t want to part with the simplest of material things. Maybe it is about trying to hold on to to her essence–although I know that’s something I’ll never lose.

It feels strange that my mother is not here on this plane, yet I know that she is with me. I have called on her to assist me, and she has responded. That doesn’t seem to be enough sometimes, I want more, even though I know that I can’t have it. I feel like a child who wants her mommy–it is that primal. And the grief doesn’t seem to get easier; this loss is so deep. My past experiences tell me that it will get easier with time… I know that time heals.

I also know how important it is to take care of oneself when experiencing a loss, or any other issue that stops us from enjoying life to the fullest. As an example, I routinely see an energy practitioner who supports my emotional, physical and spiritual balance. It is essential for me to stay committed to my own health, so that I can better serve you.